Spider-Man: Quality of Life #2

 Posted: 2004


In last issue - Spider-Man: Quality of Life #1 - in this great- looking CGI Spider-Book, we were left with the mysterious Yith ready to kill the Lizard. This one picks up where the previous left off.

Story Details

We now have our first full shot of Miss Yith without her long skirt. She's a snake (from the waist down, that is). The Lizard also realises that, as he exclaims, "SSSNAKE!". The Lizard attacks her, but she's pretty nimble, and dodges every thrust from the green guy. Then it's his time to be nimble, and he does great. Ninety rounds of Yith's uzis and not a single hit. She complains about him ruining her record, and he moves in close and grabs her arms. Then she spits something green (I'm guessing poison) in his eye, Spidey drops in, and the fight stops, as both opponents observe the puzzled newcomer. Then the Lizard flees, and Spidey checks Yith's @$$ and asks her if she knows she's a snake. Priceless.

Moments later, Yith and Mr. Arliss explain to Spider-Man what "really" happened. He says that Yith is hired for private security, and that the Lizard was trying to kill him because he was one of the protesters outside. Spidey doesn't seem to buy it, especially because Curt Connors' "Confidential" files are all over the floor. He leaves, and we get the feeling that Yith wants to eat Spider-Man. They realise that with the files on the floor, there was no way Spidey could have believed them, and she leaves to kill Curt Connors. Then, talking with a colleague, Mr. Arliss clears all the doubts we possibly might have had about their guilt in Martha Connors' cancer.

The scene moves to the Bugle, where Jameson berates Peter for not bringing photos of the Spidey/Lizard incident. Now, Peter here still looks like he's out of the first year of Amazing Spider-Man, in the 60's. Then he meets with "Mister Urich", who calls him "kid". Well, it's "Ben" and "Peter". Peter hasn't been a kid since the 60's. We could argue that a guy like Urich would call Peter a kid even in his college years, but Peter has to be around his 30's now, although he doesn't look like it. Anyway, Ben tells Peter about Monnano having a lot of lawsuits and the congress on their back.

At the Hospital, Curt and Martha talk about how she needs to be sure that he'll be there for Billy if she dies, and that the Lizard cannot be a part of the equation. Curt listens, concerned and in silence.

At the Bugle, once again we have to endure Peter's kiddy look, and the "Mister Urich" and "kid" lines. Peter's working late, Ben wants to make him a reporter, and Peter says he'll stick to teaching and pictures, undoubtedly placing the story in present time. Of course, Peter is no longer a photographer, as all the Limited Series/One-Shots/Backup Stories indicate. Ben leaves, and Peter finds out about the lawsuit involving the Connors and Monnano.

At the Hospital, Billy collapses. Apparently, he's suffering from the same problem as his mother. Curt is a wreck, and Yith observes in the shadows, waiting to move in for the kill...

General Comments

The story is moving along great. One of my fears was dismissed: Yith isn't just a gun-toting lady, and she has some tricks up her sleeve. I'm eager to see more. As for my other fears, ugh... The story happens in present time, Peter's mention to "teaching" leaves no doubt of that. So, his kiddy look and his "Mister Jameson", "Mister Robertson" and "Mister Urich" that previously felt wrong now are completely off-base. And that annoys me while I read it. I can't help it. I'm reading about a guy who's grown since Amazing Fantasy #15, not about a kid frozen in time. So, although I like the story, all the Spider-Man scenes are cool, and the CGI-art is very attractive, I don't like the Peter Parker scenes. And that obviously reflects on my overall taste for the book.

Overall Rating

Aye, this hurts. I'm sorry to give a good story a lower grade than it deserves, because of some details, but when I'm reading it, I have to stop and think "What the heck?!"

The story itself would deserve 4 webs, undoubtedly. I'm taking a web off because of the unsatisfying Peter Parker it presents. I'm hoping issues #3 and #4 will be more Spidey-oriented, and I won't have to hurt the rating again. Because if Peter shows up in his skinny kiddy look again, I'm dropping half-a-web. And if Peter calls another friend "Mister" again, I'm dropping another half. And I don't want to do that.

Now just bring me that 3-way fight I'm looking for!

 Posted: 2004