Two months ago, a new Marvel Team-Up series saw the light, one of the "ultimate" variety. With issue three before us, can we be sure they actually did see the light? Or is "ultimate" just the current buzz word? Read on!
The story continues from the previous issue. Spider-Man is lifted by the Green Goliath. It's a miracle he's still alive, considering he had his mouth fully covered for about 30 days! Guess I never understood how Marvel time works.
Anyway, Spidey gets loose, of course, and we get to see an 8 page fist fight. Mostly done in splashes. Which is good, because that way I get to finish the comic faster.
Spidey tries to be witty but fails. The monosyllabic Hulk isn't into talking right now. Besides, most of Spidey's snappy banter is actually in thought balloons! So much for 'distracting your opponent with clever dialog'.
After 8 pages of hard work, wouldn't you be tired and hungry? Well, the Hulk is and at the docks he's being lured, using a fish, by Spidey into an empty warehouse. There he eats the fish (and some more) which relaxes him. He then transferes into some guy, a scared guy in way too big pants which miraculously don't fall down. Perhaps he's a skater.
Then, enter the cavalry. The scary guy's name is revealed, Doctor Banner. The guys in green (no, no relation to the Hulk, they're just wearing green uniforms) open fire on Spidey and the Hulk. Yep, the stress makes Banner transfer back into the Hulk.
Two splash pages later, being one explosion and one big leap, Elvis... I mean, the Hulk has left the building and Spidey's drifting in the river on a piece of wood.
Well, there are two ways of reading this book.
Option 1: You're a complete newbie to the medium of comic books. The story is fresh. Who is this green guy? Where does he come from? Why is he so scared? What's he talking about some secret connection between him and Spidey? Who are those other green men? I'd be intrigued and I'd give it 3 webs right away. Gimme more, but please, mister Bendis, maybe two issues was a bit long?
Option 2: You're a Marvelite of long standing, and have read your share of books over the past few years. What you've just read has been a repeat of moves. Some silly talk about a secret connection. A lot of big pictures and even more lines of text that don't add up to a story. Been there, done that. I'd give it a lousy 1 web.
Let's split the difference, and call it two webs. As mentioned, the splashes are good, and helped me race through the book, so I can get back to something more to my liking.
The guy at the comic-shop once told me "Issue 3 is always the worst".
I hope he's right.