Spider-Man Heroes & Villains Collection (UK) #40

Background

This is a 60-part weekly series being pumped into the market by Eaglemoss publications. They don't know much about Spidey, but they know that 60 * $8.99 = quite a lot. And I'm the kind of idiot who will spend that sort of money without doing the math.

There's an original 7-page story in every issue, and collectible trading cards too. Sure, the stories are terrible, the art has been 90% ghastly, and the price is far, far too high. But there's glossy paper, trading cards, and an original Spider-Man comic strip series that 99% of the U.S. collectors will never own!

This week, issue 40 out of 60! I'm two thirds of the way through the pointless pain and expense of this car-crash of a magazine.

Story 'The Carrion Touch'

So, who here reckons that this rip-off tie-in UK magazine can put together a decent "Carnage" story with just seven pages?

Nah, me neither. But here we go. This magazine has just 60 issues to recycle the guts out nearly five decades of classic Spider-Man. Let the desecration begin.

Carnage and Shriek are sharing a romantic burger in a graveyard, when Shriek offers to take Carnage on a trip to kill Spider-Man. They take a couple of mind-controlled human servants with them, because... well, for no reason. They play no part in the plot.

But what of Spider-Man? Our web-headed hero is investigating an old lair of his foe the Jackal when he accidentally covers himself with a red dust. This infects Spidey with a power that corrodes all living things. That's going to make dating hard. Not to mention eating lunch.

So when Shriek and Carnage encounter Spider-Man by random a couple of minutes later (no explanation of how Carnage or Shriek knew to find Spider-Man at the Jackal's warehouse) then Spider-Man's power causes Carnage (man and symbiote both) to decay to dust.

Exit Shriek stage left with a handful of Carnage-powder. Next panel, enter the deadly being "Carrion", demanding his powers back from Spider-Man. Carrion sucks the deadly virus out of Spidey. Is that really how viruses work, you might ask. Carrion then attempts to decay Spider-Man. But since the web-slinger has formerly carried the disease, he is now immune.

The end.

General Comments

The original Carrion story took several full-length comics. This attempt to shoehorn three major Spider-Man villains into a seven page mini-story is an offensive dis-service the likes of which I haven't heard since "Stars on 45" gave us "Hooked on the Beatles".

Overall Rating

This truly is an abominable pastiche. Half a web.

Footnote

For those of you young enough to have missed it the first time, here are Stars on 45.