Spider-Man Heroes & Villains Collection (UK) #10

Background

This is a 60-part weekly series being pumped into the market by Eaglemoss publications. They don't know much about Spidey, but they know that 60 * $8.99 = quite a lot. And I'm the kind of idiot who will spend that sort of money without doing the math.

There's an original 7-page story in every issue, and collectible trading cards too. Sure, the stories are terrible, the art is ghastly, and the price is far, far too high. But there's glossy paper, trading cards, and an original Spider-Man comic strip series that 99% of the U.S. collectors will never own!

Story 'End Game!'

To recap. Spider-Man and Venom are trapped inside the mystic portal that was feeding the Green Goblin with all his power. The Goblin had created a "Shadow Goblin" to live inside the distant dimension behind the portal and keep Spider-Man trapped. However, the shadow goblin was not powerful enough to handle both Spidey and Venom at the same time.

This now means that Spider-Man and Venom are able to defeat the shadow guardian and return to their home world just in time to stop a power-mad Green Goblin from turning the people of Manhattan into his psychic mind-zombie slaves. Whew, that was lucky! The return of the two web-slingers conveniently destroys the portal - also very convenient.

Now it's just time for the wrap-up. S.H.I.E.L.D. wraps up the remaining 85% of the Sinister Six. Venom slinks off quietly at the first opportunity. Spider-Man grabs the somewhat dazed and confused Green Goblin and smashes out through a window so that he can (for the second time in ten issues) disrobe Norman Osborn and return his once-more-amnesiac body to the hospital to pretend that nothing happened at all. Well, I guess as long as his insurance is still up to date, nobody will ask where he has been.

So, that pretty much takes care of everything. Oh wait. We forgot the "shadowy figure behind it all", and the token gesture to Peter Parker and the "everyman" challenges of maintaining a dual identity. So here they are. There's a shadowy figure behind it all. And Spider-Man says: "Except I just remembered... it was MJ's birthday yesterday and I didn't get her a gift! She'll murder me!"

Excellent, every cliche has been attended to. Next issue, a new story arc begins. Oh goody. I just can't wait.

General Comments

Truly, there is no worse Spider-Man comic or magazine being produced in the world today. Of the ten or so different Spidey ongoing titles (Amazing, Spectacular UK, Spidey & Friends, Ultimate, Marvel Aventures and what-have-you) this one stands head-and-shoulders below the rest.

Overall Rating

Hurtling from cliche to incredulity and back again via frequent stops in the incompetence zone, this badly-drawn, badly-written disaster of a series offends at every level. One web.