Spider-Girl (Vol. 1) #73

 Posted: 2004
 Staff: Wildman (E-Mail)


Brenda "Blackie" Drago, a/k/a "Raptor", has just proposed to Normie Osborn, the man May Parker can't seem to forget. Raptor's team of former super villains--headed by FBI Secret Agent Arthur Weadon--wants nothing to do with Spider-Girl. Seemingly the only ally she has left is Chesbro, head flunky of the Black Tarantula. Can things get any worse?

Story 'All Men Are Jerks!'

Blackie Drago is less than pleased. Normie Osborn turned down her marriage proposal and she is taking her anger out on everything she can find. Spider- Girl calms her down and promises to talk to him, but is chased out of the fun park by Arthur Weadon. On her way out, she receives a cryptic phone call from Chesbro, who knows exactly where she has been.

After a brief, unsuccessful attempt to replace her damaged costume at the Spider Shoppe, May runs into a classmate of hers named Christopher Jankoer. He asks her to the basketball game, but May has to run off when she spots someone appearing to be Lady Octopus on the roof of a nearby building. One quick costume change later and May finds herself face to face with... somebody else.

The man calls himself Claw ("The World's Greatest Cat Burglar"). What Spider- Girl thought were the Octopus' tentacles was in fact a machine set to lower him through the building's roof. Claw hops out of the harness and shoots some sleeping gas at Spider-Girl, who dodges it easily. The fight is on. A nearby resident notices the commotion and calls 911. Agent Weadon's group--which is monitoring police broadcasts--intercepts the call and assumes that Spider-Girl is fighting Lady Octopus. Eager to bust a big-name villain (and worried about possible funding cuts), Weadon assembles the team.

Back on the rooftops, Spider-Girl and Claw continue to fight, Claw flirting with her outrageously and briefly taking time to proposition two ladies sitting on a nearby balcony. Disgusted with his attitude, Spider-Girl loses her focus. That proves dangerous, as she is unable to avoid Claw's next attack: blowing up a water tower. The water knocks her for a loop and enrages her. Spider-Girl recovers her senses, swings back into pursuit...

... only to find that Weadon's group has already captured Claw. Quickwire gives her grief over her ratty costume, Kaine gets on her case about nearly letting Claw escape, and Weadon just chews her out. Only Raptor gives her any kind of support: "Ignore him, Spider-Girl! Ignore them all! All men are jerks!" "Y'know, I became a believer."

Frustrated beyond belief, Spider-Girl swings away only to be interrupted by another call from Chesbro. He mentions that "it might be prudent to call upon [Normie Osborn] tonight." May has been meaning to talk to him anyway, so she heads over to the hospital to meet him. Normie refuses to talk about Raptor. "Is there someone else?" May tentatively asks. "There has always been someone else, my dear," somebody says from the doorway. "Norman, my darling, I know that we have been separated for far too many years, but surely you recognize your own WIFE!"

General Comments

First off, no we aren't.

Second, talk about a left turn. Normie's hitched? Where did THAT come from? Not sure what this is leading to, but I find it a tad coincidental that Chesbro told Spider-Girl to pay Normie a visit the same night that his "wife" shows up. Something ain't kosher here. To be honest, this seems a tad on the melodramatic side, but we'll see where it leads.

As for the rest, it's a fun story, although nothing really new here apart from May's newest admirer. The bit with the Spider Shoppe was intriguing if only for the possibility that we could see May sporting some new duds in the future. One of the costumes she admired was a modified version of Spider- Man's famous black outfit; it would be pretty nifty if she gave the black look a whirl.

Aside from the last page, we don't get any developments here. A decent self- contained story, but it doesn't advance the overall plotline any. And Claw was kind of a doofus.

Overall Rating

A little below average, I thought. Two and one-half webs.

 Posted: 2004
 Staff: Wildman (E-Mail)