Marvel Heroes (UK Magazine) #14 (Story 2)

Background

This is the back-up story from Marvel Heroes (UK Magazine) #14. As a token gesture to the UK home fans for this UK-only magazine, the hero of this second tale wears a British Union flag, carefully stitched up and tailored to his body. Hence his moniker - "Union Jack".

The comparison to a similarly be-draped pan-Atlantic Somehow, compared to Captain America, Jack manages to come across as less "living advertisement for national imperialism", and more "homeless escapee from gay cabaret".

Story 'Going Underground'

Meanwhile back in London, there's an outbreak of mystical activity. The media speculates that it's related to "The Salem Incident that rocked the U.S." Really? I just read the story from the first half, and I didn't see anybody really take any notice of what Ghost Rider was doing. So how did the U.S. even find out?

But I guess there's an executive order out to always create a link between the two 7-page stories in each issue. Whatever the cause, there's a dimensional fissure down the London Underground that is spawning magical wolf-like creatures. Who can save us now? Oh, right. The guy from the cover. Union "Jazz Hands" Jack.

Jack has a water pistol filled with silver nitrate, and some water bombs of the same. He uses them to destroy the wolves and close the fissure. Then he goes to the pub for a beer, wrapping up yet another two-step "oh look there's some bad guys and... oh the good guy defeated them" story.

General Comments

The one is just like its non-identical twin from the first half of the magazine. Hero meets Villain. Hero defeats Villain. Bystanders are rescued.

No moral dilemma, no character development, no unexpected plot twist, no mystery to solve. This is the literary equivalent of chewing paper. Except the paper leaves a better taste in the mouth.

Overall Rating

Just like the threadbare, single-track, "punch-and-win" effort that preceded it, this story is lucky to get a single web.

Now both of you, take your webs, go away and don't come back again any time soon. Lest I change my mind.