This is Captain America's book, but Spider-Man helps out his "squaddies", and so we must review!
Publisher: | Little, Brown & Co. |
Writer: | Zachary Rau |
Illustrator: | Guido Guidi |
Reprinted In: | Marvel Super Hero Squad: Storybook Collection |
Square-bound, cardboard cover, 8" x 8" 12 glossy full-colour pages.
Mole Man sends an SOS to the Heroes (Thing, Hulk, Spidey, Falcon, Ant-Man, Wolverine, Cyclops, Doctor Strange, Thor, Captain America, and Iron Man). He tells them that a huge tornado has ripped through Villainville, destroying the city! Is it a trap?
Let's try something interesting. How about I write the whole review using alliteration?
Captain America ruminates, resolves to risk ruin, and rushes to the rescue regardless. A holistic helping of heroes hurtles headlong to help in the heli-carrier.
Landing, and lo! Land lies littered in lumps, looks like largely legitimate. Bewaring battle, bewildered and bothered, our brave band begins broaching boulders. Starting searching, souls seems scarce. Doctor Strange mumbles mystic mutterings, makes mindful miracles.
Oh, bother all that. Let's just finish this thing.
The damage in Villainville is real, and the villains are nowhere to be found. Doc Strange uses his powers and reveals Abomination buried beneath rubble, Mole Man buried deep, Juggernaut and Enchantress trapped underground in a commuter subway carriage, etc.
The heroes (being heroes) begin the rescue, but are interrupted by the arrival of Doctor Doom and his Sentinels, who demand that they leave immediately. Captain America says that they're here to help, and Doom has a change of heart and accepts assistance.
Together, the Super Hero Squad and Doctor Doom's Sentinels make light work of the remaining rescues, but as soon as all the bad guys are safe, Doctor Doom immediately breaks his word and launches a treacherous attack on his temporary allies. The Heroes are forced to beat a rapid magical retreat (courtesy of Doctor Strange's powers).
I had a momentary burst of optimism at the start of the story. The villains need help? A novel story idea, and a good chance for some creative plotting. But then... Abomination buried under a pile of rocks?
"ROAR! I've fallen and I can't get up!
Mole Man... trapped... underground? Oh no! Poor old Mole Man stuck... in a cave? The guy literally lives in a cave! That's like me complaining that I'm trapped in a comic store!
Juggernaut and Enchantress trapped in a subway with a bunch of rush-hour commuters? (Actually, that's so dumb that it goes all the way around the dial and comes back to "Funny" again.)
When Doom agreed to accept Cap's help, I thought "Now, that's nice... maybe the kid readers will get a nice life lesson about people helping people regardless of differences." But then when Doom turned on the Heroes I got really mad! What kind of life lesson is that supposed to teach?
Actually, maybe that's a very useful life lesson. Powerful people will take whatever you give them, then screw you over once you've served your purpose.
By accident or design, that story offers a great moral. Imma give it Four Webs.
If Doctor Strange can teleport everybody back home from Villainville, why didn't he teleport them to Villainville in the first place when it was an emergency and people were trapped and needed rescuing?
And why did only the super-villains need rescuing? What about all the non-super people, like the ones trapped in the subway carriage? Surely they would be an even higher priority than Juggernaut, who can (please remember) free himself from a 10-foot deep solid concrete foundation given time, or the Enchantress whose powers include "interdimensional teleportation"?!
Hmmm... I wonder if I need to reconsider that rating?