Marvel Adventures Super Heroes #3 (Story 1)

Background

Imagine what a superhero adventure would be like if Spider-Man, The Hulk, and Iron Man; three of the biggest heroes in the Marvel Universe; were hanging out together. Well, you don't have to any more, as these three big movie stars of the Marvel Universe are now headlining their very own Marvel Adventure comic, and this reviewer couldn't be happier. As is the rest of the Marvel Adventures Universe, this comic is targeted for kids who are also the potential audience for the upcoming films.

This series was launched early in 2008 on Free Comic Book Day with a special Marvel Adventures Superheroes comic.

Story 'You Can't Eat Just Once'

Our story starts out with a pair of ne'er-do-wells, who are planning to utilize their reinforced automobile to crash through the front of a Quik Stoppe Shoppe, so that they can then rob the place. Needless to say, these two dimwitted, disenfranchised, shallow thinkers from the shallow end of the gene pool picked the wrong day to pull their heist, as Hulk, Iron Man, and Spider-Man are all in the convenience store. Something that these pinheads discover when they ram into the Hulk as they crash through the front window of the store.

As can be expected, The Hulk (who is calmly much down on a bag of Deja Chew potato chips) has absolutely no idea that a two-ton pile of Detroit steel on wheels, while Spidey goes flying. As can be expected, the two brainless dolts are knocked even more senseless then they already were. Spidey and Iron Man turn them over to the cops as The Hulk keeps munching bag after bag of his chips.

Just as the trio of heroes is about to depart, who should show up, but that villain from the future, Kang, the Conqueror, spouting nonsense about the last time they all met. Only the heroes are confused, as they don't know who Kang is, because they simply haven't met yet. Needless to say, this doesn't stop them all from fighting with each other (Kang has brought minions from all across time to aid him in his quest for total dominion of the multiverse).

As soon as Kang realizes that he has overshot his intended time period, he recalibrates his Tardis, er, time travel devise, he ports out of our hero's time continuum, and heads off to his intended target. No sooner is he gone, than a new figure ports in. As it turns out, this new individual is a future version of Iron Man, who has come back into the past to warn our heroes that Kang has conquered all of time with cleverly devised Deja Chew chips.

The future Iron Man blasts the bag of chips out of Hulk's hands which enrages the Hulk, as he is still ravenously hungry. This incites a free-for-all as Hulk tries to smash future Iron Man, and future Iron Man tries to explain what is happening. According to future Iron Man Kang has loaded the snack food with a computer chip that creates a temporal loop forcing the person eating the chip to go back in time to eat a new bag of chips. Soon everyone only can eat the bag of chips, and thus becomes enthralled by Kang.

The four heroes now get ready to invade Kang's Crystalarium. As they approach the Crystalarium, future Iron Man goes off to destroy the potato chip factory, leaving the past (present?) heroes to take on Kang himself. As they converge on the master of time, he sics a future Hulk on them, figuring that the future Hulk would be stronger than the past Hulk. As the two Hulks duke it out, Iron Man and Spidey proceed to mop up the floor with Kang's time-displaced minions.

Well, the past/present Hulk kicks the snot out of future Hulk, then beats Kang into the ground, even as Spidey crushes the primary bag of Deja Chip, snapping the temporal loop, and putting everything back the way it was, only now Hulk is eating Mucho Munchos.

General Comments

This story is just as readably silly as were the two previous issues. Sure, sure, it seems odd that they don't know who Kang is (especially when we all know that they have met Kang in Marvel Adventures Avengers (quick, someone tell me which issue, I can't find it but recall it happening).

I find it very funny the way the three heroes keep bouncing off each other. Stark is always the straight man, leader of the group, representing order, Spidey is chaos, and humor, while the Hulk is simply the big green gorilla in the room who is there to smash his way to the end of the story. What a great dynamic

Overall Rating

Really, you can't get much more entertaining than this. It is so worth reading.

Footnote

There is a new one-page of Chris Giarrusso mini-marvel story at the end of this tale. It features a guy who could very well be Peter Parker who challenges an assumption of a Skrull who has landed in the middle of Times Square. The stuff that Chris produces is really very funny, and deserves to be featured more prominently. Not only is there more Mini Marvel stuff at Chris Giarrusso's website, but you can find a collection of Chris' work in the Mini Marvel digest Mini Marvels: Rock, Paper Scissors, out now.