Deadpool (Vol. 3) #45 (Story 5)

Background

This issue #45 (aka #250) ended Deadpool (Vol. 3) when the entire Marvel Comics Universe rebooted for Secret Wars (2015).

These guest-written back-up stories are each 5-pages long and they take offer, light-hearted glimpses of Deadpool's motley family and supporting cast.

Story 'The Thwipster and the Quipster Battle the Hipsters!'

This fifth story doesn't feature Deadpool at all. The stars (such as they are) of the tale are S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents Scott Adsit and Phillip J. Coulson. Also Spider-Man.

The main plot line is a simple defense of the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier against an attacking army of Were-Hipsters.

Yes. Were-Hipsters. Let me explain... no. It is too silly. Let me sum up.

A fragmented moon-stone caused a dozen or so hipsters to be transformed into Man-Wolves. For some-reason, that caused them to attack the helicarrier? Or perhaps Spider-Man guided them there in order to seek reinforcements, perhaps, or to lead them away from civilians. Anyhow... there are Men-Wolfs in the helicarrier bridge. What to do?!?

Agent Adsit fetches his super-bright, cordless, tanning sun-lamp. That provides the daylight that reverts the Mens-Wolf into bearded hipsters once more. Everybody is saved. Typical of hipsters, they went near the sunlamp before it was cool.

Meanwhile, I presume that Adsit has a nasty case of sunburn on his right hand. He is the hero of the day. He has earned his reward. And what is that reward? Adsit requests that Spider-Man web-cocoon him upside-down. I... guess it's some kind of fetish?

But wait. There's another twist in the tail just in case that one didn't hit the spot. It turns out that Agent Adsit also wants to be a stand-up comedian, but he lacks the courage. But with a little inspiration from "non-stop-jokester" Spider-Man, he finally manages the nerve to utter the immortal witticism beloved by construction works and fourteen year-old boys everywhere:

That's what she said.

General Comments

I thought Innuendo was an Italian suppository until I started reading Deadpool.

Don't quit your day job, Adsit.

Overall Rating

Writing comics is hard. Writing comedy is hard. Writing comedy comics is hardest of all.

Two Webs.