Avengers Millennium #3

Background

The Avengers are fighting Hydra in three different time-zones. I don't mean like, Central Mountain Time, I mean — the distant past, the recent past, and the future.

Team 1 was Hawkeye, Quicksilver, and Captain America. They got trapped back in the distant past through a one-way time portal, but Cap had a plan!

Story Details

Meanwhile in World War II Japan, Team 2 consisting of Spider-Man, Iron Man and Black Widow need to infiltrate a Japanese Army base that has been previously infiltrated by Hydra. Normal time-travel rules apply, and they can't risk changing history. (That's the Prime Directive, or something like that.) So they're going to need some sort of disguise.

The heroes get lucky and manage to find (i.e. steal) stage costumes and make-up from a travelling Kabuki company (traditional Japanese theater, you ignoramuses!) Hah, Hah! Spider-Man has to dress up as a girl! LOLZ! This team infiltrates the army base, and attack the Hydra base buried inside the other base. Sort of a base-squared. Second base? Base 2? (That's the binary system, yeah?)

The base is defended by a Hydra agent from the future. With high-tech quantum wave manipulation technology sufficient to defeat Iron Man. Fortunately, Black Widow has low-tech Taser technology. So the good guys defeat the bad guy, and discover that the Hydra base was monitoring/researching... a deep hole in the ground... containing... (cut to Team 3 with dramatic mid-episode suspenseful cliff-hanger change of scene).

Team 3 is Scarlet Witch and Bruce Banner, and they're in a radioactive, post-apocalyptic future. Bruce Banner spends a page and a half trying to build a radiation suit to protect Scarlet Witch, but before he can complete it, they are discovered and attacked by high-tech Hydra super-agents from the future.

The Hydra high-tech is enough to defeat the Hulk (twice) but Scarlet Witch's low-tech magic approach defeats the future-Hydras, and we finally learn what is in the excavation that the Hydra base was guarding. It is... the frozen Popsicle body of Captain America in a metal casket with a sign saying "Bruce or Tony, thaw me out."

I guess that was the plan.

General Comments

We're up to issue 3 now, and this was the first one that I can actually say that I even half-enjoyed reading.

Events moved along at a decent rate, the events linked together, and character's actions made sense. Pace. Plot. Purpose.. It's not rocket surgery, guys!

Even so, the "filler" is infuriating — such as Banner building a radiation suit that was never used because he didn't manage to finish it. And no, it doesn't get used in issue #4 either — I just checked ahead to be sure.

Overall Rating

This is an almost-competent, nearly-entertaining, quasi-worthwhile issue.

2.5 Webs.