2099 World of Tomorrow #5

Background

It's August 1996, and all of the original Marvel 2099 titles have officially been canceled. Was this the end of the line as a whole? Nope, it had one last gasp in this series, which threw all the heroes of 2099 (that is, those that managed to survive “The Night of the Long Knives” as detailed in {{2099: Apocalypse #1}}) into one big book. All your favorites are here – Spider-Man 2099, Doom 2099, and... X-Nation 2099?!? But even all that (questionable) star power wasn't enough to extend its lifespan past eight issues.

Story 'Finders Keepers'

We start in a cavern. The newly Phalanx-ized Winn is holding the newly Phalanx-ized Nostromo in his arms and is surrounded by goons with big guns and even bigger shoulder pads (we are still in the '90s, after all). These are Doom's Dogs of War, who were sent to retrieve the much sought after “scout” before the Phalanx could find him. (Although, once again, the story doesn't make their identity very clear.) Winn spends a few pages easily wasting these guys.

After the slaughter is over, Willow approaches him and he lashes out at her. This gives La Lunatica the opening she needs as she punches a hole in his gut. Don't worry, though, since Winn is part of the Phalanx now he can morph into any shape he wants. First, he steals Sandman's shtick where he solidifies his whole body, thus trapping La Lunatica's arm in his abdomen. Then, he steals Electro's shtick by electrifying himself and thus shocking La Lunatica into unconsciousness.

He then turns to the rest of Bloodhawk Gang™ and laments, “You just don't understand. It has to be this way.” And then disappears. The way he was talking it's not clear if he is bringing Nostromo to Doom or the Phalanx. His sudden contrition seems to point to him simply being a misunderstood good guy but once again the story is unclear on this point. While Willow laments the loss of both Winn and Nostromo, Jade Ryuteki pipes up and states she can trace the transportation beam that Winn used, pinpoint its origin, and thus get Nostromo back before it's too late.

Meanwhile, in what's left of Latveria, Doom isn't doing such a great job protecting his homeland as he talks up. The Phalanx are attacking the peasants that live beneath Castle Doom. Inside the castle walls we see Doom, who has been technologically de-bonded from his armor (whatever the heck that means) and is ready to kick butt now. Again, I would say all the fleeing Latverians on the previous page would say it's too little too late, but anyway...

Doom tells Miguel that the Phalanx have finally located the scout. (Um, how does he know this? He was just in a pressure chamber getting all his cybernetic parts power-scrubbed.) Doom says they will bring the scout to Latveria and the invaders must be stopped before it is “activated”, whatever that means. Miguel, acting wildly out of character once again, doesn't have any smart comebacks or righteous indignation for the confessed traitor, and instead just goes along with the Doom's plan.

Speaking about out of character, we find out via thought balloon that ol' Doomie is actually mooning over Miguel's old flame Xina! He thinks, “Dear Xina. Would that I could pull back this cold mask of pride and anger – so that you might find the man concealed within.” What's this chick got that she has two superheroes vying for her attention? I think Doom needs to lay off the romance paperbacks.

Another meanwhile, and we are back underground for Strange 2099's Totally Bogus Origin™. I'll try to make this quick. She once had a brother who was training to be a sorcerer and was always trying to impress him (the text seems to imply that there is a slightly incestuous motivation for this but it could just be really bad writing). One night he went out on a date with Chimera (see the pages of Fantastic Four 2099 if you're interested in more of her). Anyway, she follows him and his date to a milk bar (don't ask) and he gets roughed up by some gang members. Strange conjures up what she thinks is an image of a demon to scare them away but, oops - it turns out she conjured the real thing and it eats her brother! And thus she carries this secret guilt with her under the veneer of a devil-may-care attitude. End of story. That was painless, wasn't it? But why is Garokk even making her relive this? Just for our benefit? He declares, “I have your power, your flesh and bones... but I want you to break, too, castingly, utterly, and completely.” Oh, well that explains everything... Not!

Meanwhile, Metalhead and Maddie are standing in front of Franklin, the Radio Shack reject. Maddie is talking with him to try and get him up to speed on things but not having a lot of luck. Shakti, on the other hand, is waking up from the blow she took last issue only to find out that she no longer has her power of telepathy. Great job there, Franklin. So far you've given us the definitions of “mutant” and “friend”, and taken away the powers of one of the world's best mutant. Some “last gift to humanity” you turned out to be!

Back on Mars, Twilight gives us the Totally Excellent Origin™ of the Takers. I will try to make this quick, too. They are the descendants of the original inhabitants of Mars whose civilization flourished thousands of years ago. A long time ago, the Phalanx attempted to invade their planet but after a fierce battle the Martians repulsed them. As the Phalanx were retreating, however, they dropped a bomb that completely destroyed the planet's surface. Thus, the Martian survivors literally went underground to rebuild. One group even built a spaceship that crash landed on Earth (this is the source of that Martian spaceship that Bloodhawk's crew found way back in issue #1).

So, long story short, the Martians hate the Phalanx and have just found out that their ancient enemy has returned to the solar system. (Don't ask me how Twilight knows all of this, because the story doesn't say.) Twilight hopes that by relaying this story it will convince her friends to help the Takers, but Dr. Isaacs just wants to know what happened to the children that were abducted. Twilight explains the Martians used them in their cloning experiments in hopes of replenishing their dwindling population. Twilight then uses her Sphere of Influence power to bring all the dead Martian clones back to life in their stasis pods and they all bust out ready for a fight.

Meanwhile, back on the Ugh Boat™, Uproar and Wulff are standing in front of the Vulture 2099. Thankfully, there's no in depth revelations to be had here. His goal was simply to capture Wulff, have him return to his more savage ways, then get him rejoin the old gang. Yes, the arena, the isolation, it was all a ploy to get his favorite assassin back. Wulff tries to walk away, but Trash attacks him. Wulff quickly cuts him into little bloody ribbons. Oh no, has he turned feral? Has Vulture won already? Who cares? I've had enough of these dummies and don't know why we're wasting pages on their dilemma when the fate of the entire world is hanging in the balance elsewhere!

Speaking of which, we return to Bloodhawk and friends, who have finally returned to the Last Refuge. Jade Ryuteki is in the middle of tracing the Phalanx signal when a giant robot that looks like a rejected Iron Man villain suddenly appears and declares doom on all human life on. This is an agent of the Phalanx known as a Dreadnode. (It should be noted that because it looked so different from the the typical Phalanx soldiers we've seen so far that at first I thought this was a brand new and totally unrelated villain.)

For our final scene we return to Castle Doom. The Emissary is once more laying out The Plan ™ to our heroes. Hopefully, it will make sense the third (or is it fourth?) time it's laid out. He explains the scout is the “missing link” needed in order to activate the hibernating Phalanx in the planetoid that has been circling earth for the last five issues. The scout will also somehow activate the terraforming that is required to transform the planet to suit the needs of the newly awakened Phalanx. Why, exactly, they need him for this is not really clear. I mean, we already have the Emissary, Winn, and the Dreadnode running around the world just fine. Plus, at the beginning of this issue we saw other Phalanx units attacking Latverian citizens. What more do they need to take over the world? This has got to be the worst invasion plan I've ever heard of!

Anyway, Winn returns with Nostromo and the Emissary plugs him into... some computer doohickey. Doom, Miguel, and Xina attack but are quickly surrounded and rendered helpless. The Emissary then declares that “The era of the Phalanx has begun.”

In the esteemed words of the great Willy Wonka, “Help. Police, Murder.” Whatever will our heroes do now?

General Comments

Well, the revelations keep coming, but it took them so long for them to get here that I don't really care anymore. They certainly don't live up to the issues-long buildup they got. What does Strange's origin have to do with anything else that's going on? Why is the Vulture now captain of the Exxon Valdez? How did Willow know all that stuff about the Martians' history if they can't speak? Don't hold your breath waiting on any answers.

Since this whole story arc is over half over now, let's check and see where everyone stands:

Bloodhawk and Friends – It's clear we followed the misadventures of these mooks because that was the only way to shoehorn in Nostromo's revelation and abduction as the prophesied “scout.” None of the other characters have added much of anything to the story yet.

Doom and Spidey Save the World – The team-up dynamic here isn't very believable, and neither of these characters are acting like themselves. We see Doom mooning over Xina, and Spider-Man is playing the role of a mere lackey.

My Summer Vacation on Mars – I fail to see the point of this side trip. It's clear the Martians are gonna align with our heroes against the Phalanx but the path to getting there was winding and tortuous. And what happened to all those people in the Ares colony? Did they go down the same memory hole as Father Jennifer and the Thing?

Strange 2099 – The less said about this digression the better.

Uproar and Wulff – Sorry, these guys are super lame. All this subplot has done is go through the same motions over and over again for the last three issues.

Overall Rating

Believe it or not, I feel like this series has gotten a little better the further along I go. Now that it's settled down and stopped introducing new characters and switching scenes so dang often it's not as much of a chore to get through. And to be fair, I do see that the plot threads that didn't make a lot of sense earlier on at least are starting to come together nicely. And guess what? The authors added a “Guide to the World of Tomorrow” page to help the reader keep the players straight. This is something I wanted from the beginning so I have to give them props for trying to improve.