To the Editor (01-Jul-2001)

I'm even closer than you think! I'm just on the other end of State Highway 58.

As for the reviews being late, well, it's not as simple as all that. Yes, comics arrive in New Zealand a week or more after they hit the stands in the States, but that's not really the major reason that the reviews appear a month or so after a comic's official release date.

Many of the staff are family guys, with the site as a hobby. So the site doesn't really try to be absolutely up to the minute. There are so many sites which have the latest gossip, latest comics, etc. that it's really not possible to compete on that front.

Those sites are based in the US, often have industry contacts, and are frequently commercial ventures where people can make a regular daily commitment.

At www.spiderfan.org, the team generally focuses on being the most complete and detailed Spidey resource. In the past, we've run a few weeks late, figuring that we make up in quality what we lack in timeliness.

But all that is changing this month. Stirred into action by your gentle chiding, this month we feature reviews for ALL Spidey appearances available at the time of going to 'print'. That means all issues with cover (return) dates in August and September.

That gives the readers two whole months to track down the gems, and plenty of warning to avoid the lemons! Enjoy!

Heh, indeed! That's why I put him on the list of options for July's mini-quiz about the best ever Villains! Let's see how he rates!

Terry whats-his-name! What's that song lyric?

It's all right now, I learned my lesson well,
you... can't please everybody, so... you got to please yourself!

Sorry, but Byron Preiss folded. I have heard various reports of technical problems with the game, but you're unlikely to find any useful help now. If you have any friends with computers, I would suggest you try it on a few different machines until you find one that works.

Of course, I wouldn't mind a copy for my collection!

Sorry, but StanLee.Net folded too! There's a lot of it going around at the moment!

Errr... you've got me there. I've asked all the guys here at the WE LOVE SPIDERMAN page, and nobody seems to have any sort of clear opinion. All those superhero guys are all basically the same, if you ask me.

You can't speak English? So it doesn't really matter what I reply, none of it is going to make any sense! Well, Happy Christmas, and three pints of tennis for my young friend. Grand piecart in cold fusion writing-desk, elbow handstand introvert rabbit ice-cream pencil tooth-paste bagpipe lunch order.

Hope that clarifies things for you!

Cash or major credit card is preferred. I take check, but there will of course be a ten day waiting period, while the U.S. banking system claws itself into the eighties.

Kindergarten skyscraper bonus marshmallow. Fireside fighter plane hostess twinkie. Star studded leather neck tie rivet fascination.

Heh, it's funny you should mention that. You might not be aware, but I also run a Russian Literature site, and I had an email from a guy in Idaho last month who really wanted to do a movie of "War and Peace", also heavily featuring some computer generated battle scenes.

Anyhow, he was hoping to get in some big Hollywood names. Travolta was mentioned, with possibly Nicole K. as the female lead. But anyhow, he really couldn't spring the cash for the book (you do know that ASM 121 and 122 have been reprinted recently, don't you). Anyhow, he wanted to save all his cash for the movie, so he wanted me to photocopy my version and fax it to him.

Amazing co-incidence, isn't it!

Sorry, but I can't help myself. Anybody out there have any ideas? Drop me a line, and I'll put you in touch with Nadine.

Yeah, from www.pornandwarez.com.ru, or somewhere similar, no doubt!

It strikes me that distributing the ROMs for commercially available games would be, well, kind of illegal, no? I have a couple of very, very old games available for download - games that are no long available for purchase in any form. Even then, I feel kind of guilty about distributing them.

As for Amazing Spider-Man comics? Try looking under Comics on the menu bar!

This is the magnificant Spot.

If you look at the right hand, you see a Spidey hand-pose, however this is not a custom figure. In fact it's a ToyBiz repaint in the 10" scale only. It's a repainted Spidey alright, but an officially licensed repainted Spidey. Spot was never made in the 5" scale.

Very pretty!

You must be referring to the letters To the Editor 01-Jan-2000, from over a year and half ago.

I'm sorry Hidenori, but we appear to have struck a bad case of cultural dissonance. You see, my response to your letter was a tragic example of Western Cultural Insensitivity. It was, to be frank, a poorly judged and clearly misguided attempt at humour.

In fact, Mr. Hammond and I did not part on good terms. The poorly disguised affair which had been going on between us for almost all of the series had degenerated in to childish arguments and petty squabling.

I, as a mere janitor, could not hope that our relationship would last beyond the series. I was mad to even contemplate that it would do so. I must now shamefully admit, I stole that costume from Nick, oh, my beloved Nick. I sank my nostrils deep into its soft, giving folds, and smelt that rich odour that I would never again know in its purest form. And then, seized with anger and mindless destruction, I threw that hated cloth into to furnace, as he had commanded me... the last time that I would ever submit to his will.

Even now, I think of that day with barely concealed emotion.

I now have the same thing to offer you as I did then to my dearest Nicky. Nothing. No pictures, no memories. Nothing but the scars on my heart.

You're quite right, and we do deserve your most fervent criticism. As you correctly point out, that page is staffed with an infinite number of people, with an indefinite amount of spare time. It is only our own stupidity and inexcusable laziness which has stopped us from completing the task of reviewing in minute detail every Spider-Man story ever printed.

Please, accept my apologies on behalf of the team, at forcing you to the unimaginable lengths of having to obtain and read those stories for yourself. I can only imagine what a stress it must place on you and your family for you to come to your own conclusions on those essential issues.

I have made a vow to my own children that I will not spend a moments time with them until I have ordered, and had shipped by courier from the United States, every issue which you desire me to read and describe on your behalf. I will then review in each minutae these classic gems, and will provide the results for your enjoyment. This is the least that I can do for you, a complete stranger.

Once again, please accept my humblest apologies, and the sacrifice of my first born.

Heh,

We are quite happily rude to people who ask questions which are listed in the FAQ or somewhere obvious on the site, questions which the mail form explicitly says will not be answered, people who send email without giving a reply address, or people who don't give their name or introduce themselves.

We sure do pick on the lazy, the stupid, and the rude. We unashamedly use them for the entertainment of those who fall outside those categories!

When it comes to picking letters for the page, often we will just privately reply to the sensible emails, and publically reply to those that have amusement value. This tends to give an unbalanced impression of the kind of mail to which we reply.

Anybody who writes a friendly email in good faith will never receive a nasty response. We may be silly, or obtuse, or occasionally tease, but we never embarass anyone who asks a reasonable question.

Is that unfair?

You be the judge!