Top Ten Reasons Not To Take The Trouble Mini-series Seriously

Marvel piqued my interest early in 2003 when they announced the reintroduction of the Epic line and the release of a mini-series called Trouble that has ties to Spider-Man, mainly because the premise of the story was how Peter's parents hooked up during their youth.

The story looked promising and I was waiting each issue with great anticipation. While the story answered some of my questions (why Ben and May Parker never had any children of their own), it also presented a lot of facts that didn't fit with previously established continuity. After reading the whole story I decided that the events depicted in it are in no way tied with Spider-Man continuity. These are my reasons for coming up with that decision.

1. Ben & Richard's last name is never revealed in the Trouble mini-series.
2. May's last name (her maiden one) is never revealed in the Trouble mini-series.
3. Mary's last name (her maiden one) is never revealed in the Trouble mini-series (not that it matters that much since it's never been revealed).
4. Aunt May had BLONDE hair (not red as shown in the Trouble mini-series) during her youth. Pick up a copy of 1984's Spectacular Spider-Man Annual #4 to check for yourself. Some people might argue that she dyed her hair, but since there's no proof of it I'll stick to known IN CONTINUITY facts.
5. Mary Parker's hair was BROWN, not blonde (as shown in the Trouble mini-series). Pick up a copy of 1997's Untold Tales of Spider-Man #Minus 1 (Flashback month) to check for yourself. Some people might argue that she dyed her hair but, since there's no proof of it I'll stick to known IN CONTINUITY facts.
6. Richard Parker is between 7 and 10 years younger than his brother Ben. I once again refer you to 1984's Spectacular Spider-Man Annual #4.
7. May fell in love with Ben Parker in Queens and not at The Hamptons (as it was depicted in the Trouble mini-series). I once again refer you to 1984's Spectacular Spider-Man Annual #4.
8. Issue #5 of the Trouble mini-series depicts Ben giving May the cold shoulder. In reality, May was the one that gave poor Unca Ben the cold shoulder before they hooked up. Read 1984's Spectacular Spider-Man Annual #4 if you don't believe me.
9. No matter how much I hate Aunt May and want to see her dead I just can't picture her as a slut that gets into bed with every guy that crosses her path. The way she's been portrayed in 40 plus years of continuity does not show any of those traits in her personality. I am aware that her personality and life could have changed drastically after the events of the Trouble mini-series, however, the change is way too drastic and I just can't accept it.
10. The current regime at Marvel doesn't care about continuity. Yeah, I know I'm grasping at straws but this is a TOP 10 list and I need to fill the quota (and you can't deny the fact that there have been several continuity glitches all over the Marvel Universe in recent years).

There you have it. The Trouble mini-series is nothing else but a hoax, a dream, and an imaginary story all rolled into one. Call it crap, a What If? or however you like, but DON'T EVER say it is official Spider-Man continuity. My advice: Just listen to what Robocop once said and "Stay out of Trouble".