Spider-Man Unlimited (Vol. 3) #6 (Story 2)

Background

Spider-man Unlimited (Vol.3) is a 2-in-1 story combo that has new talent featured in its pages. The two stories are usually different enough so that you'll like at least one of them. At least I think that's Marvel's goal...

Story 'Thug #1'

This story starts off with Augie talking to his manicurist girlfriend at a phone booth. Spider-Man swings up above, oblivious to Augie's life for now. Augie comes home to a sleeping mother and a physically abusive father. "You're nobody! Nobody! Just like me," his father taunts.

Augie has had enough of New York life, and plans to leave for California by the end of summer. He's looking for ways to earn money and he wants his girlfriend Vivian to come with him. She just seems to want to kiss. They do.

Afterwards, Augie gets a job offer knocking over a money loan place. Spider-Man jumps through the window and lays a whoop down on Augie and his crew, sending them to prison.

After a couple of beat downs and time in solitary, Augie becomes a tough guy and develops a bit of a hatred for Spider-Man. Eventually he gets let out and joins a man by the name of the Mercenary in his plight to capture Spider-Man for his country. What country? We don't find out.

Augie goes to Vivian's house to find Kurt Russell in a headband, who tells him that Vivian moved away and left her number for Augie. Augie calls the number and finds that Vivian has moved to Santa Monica and is married. She apolgizes to him and tells him that he can call whenever he needs to.

At the "Take down Spider-Man" mission briefing, Augie, being a little distracted, is choked and punched for not paying attention. The mercenary tells him, "You're good. But you're no one. Just like me."

The retarded thugs and their retarded leader the Mercenary armed with their carefully laid plan don't seem to be a match for Spider-Man. After opening a can on his teammates, Spidey engages in battle with the Mercenary himself. Augie is faced with the decision of shooting Spider-Man or the Mercenary. He shoots the latter.

Of all times, Augie feels like calling Vivian while running away from Spidey. The phone booth where he's called Vivian from on many occasion is now gone. Augie remains shocked even as Spider-Man hangs him upside down from a streetlamp.

General Comments

Thug #1 was just a horrible story. Was I supposed to feel sorry for a guy who wanted to steal money as opposed to work hard for it? It was a shame that his pops beat up on him, but that is where the remorse ended. When Augie gets out of jail, he immediately gets back into crime and finds out that his ex- girlfriend has moved on. I still have no remorse for him. Then Spider-Man catches him proving once again that crime doesn't pay.

Overall Rating

This was an abysmal story that would have been better in "Stupid Non-learning Thug Unlimited" rather than "Spider-Man Unlimited". The art echoed something like a Marvel Age title. That kind of kiddie art is suitable for Marvel Age, not for the big leagues. Though seeing Spider-Man mash two thugs' heads together reminded me of the movie Hellraiser: Bloodlines so I gave it one web.