Well, Peter David's great 'Death of Jean DeWolff' story is over and after a Secret Wars 2 crossover he's given us a one part Christmas special! In March! Whatever month its in, let's see if its any good?
|Cover Art:||Kyle Baker|
After seven pages of pointless scenes, we go down to a school where a worried teacher is asking one of his students "how did you get that bruise?" The student makes up an excuse and we find out that the teacher has taken legal action against the child's parents. The kid's dad comes along and threatens the teacher to stop the legal action or "rumours might be started about you", and rumours can be "so ugly". (By the way, does everyone know that when I put the speech marks in I'm quoting somebody? You don't just think I put them in anywhere? Good.) Now, onto the main story, a guy who works at a Macy's is dressing up as Santa Claus, asking the childrens addresses then breaking into their houses later to rob the place. And this guy's next victim is none other than Peter's neighbour Bambi and her son Jordan!
While ol' Santa Claus is planning, we see Felicia Hardy who had decided she wants to be in on the action again. She wants to be the Black Cat again! After stopping a robbery, she takes some of the stolen goods for herself, but then, after seeing some homeless people on the street in the cold, she gives it to them. Then she comes up with an idea! Maybe she could be like Robin Hood, rob from the rich, give to the poor! She thinks this is the perfect compromise between going straight and going back to crime!
Later, Santa Claus is breaking into Bambi's house with a gun and is the middle of stealing when Bambi comes out of her bedroom, hearing a noise, only to find a pistol pointing at her! Next door, Peter's spider sense warns him of danger nearby and he quickly changes into Spider-Man! He crashes in through a window and tries to stop the Santa from escaping but the landlord, who has heard the noise and came upstairs, gets in his way! The fake Santa Claus makes it to the roof but once he gets there finds someone who isn't happy. We can only see red boots with white fur on the top. The real Santa Claus! And once Spidey gets to the roof, he's gone! No where to be found!
The next day, Peter gets a call from Kathryn Cushing saying to go down to the office, and the burglar is there! Handing out presents! But not the things he stole, they were in a corner, he was giving out home made wooden toys, stuffed animals! And he confessed to all the burlaries! Then he gives Peter a message to prove he's changed his ways, who a friend asked him to pass on to Peter. The message reads "Call your Aunt! Merry Xmas!" And the next thing we see is Peter spending a nice Christmas Day with his Aunt May, Mary Jane and Aunt Anna who is visiting from Florida. But, we hear people talking from behind a bush, looking at Aunt May's house. One of them has got a knife! And one of them says "Forget it, man. We'll do it another day. He WON'T get away." And the issue ends there. Who are those men with knives, who want to possibly attack someone in Aunt May's house? Find out next issue!
Well, the actual main story was okay, and I do emphasise on OKAY. Not great but okay. But i'm going to have to take away a half a web because it takes to long for the story to actually get going! The beginning of the issue was just seven pages of needless, boring 'Peter stopping robbery, Peter going to work etc.'. I get bored of seeing Spider-Man stop a robbery or a mugging every issue! And there is one thing that really annoys me about Black Cat. She is always going on about her "beloved Spider". She can't stop talking or thinking about him! She may still be in love but it's like Spider-Man controls her life! You're broken up! Get over it! Like this little example I've picked out: "This seems like the perfect compromise. Wonder what Spider would say?" Ugghhh. That is just...uggghhhh.
The art was pretty good, sometimes the inking wasn't top notch but still okay I guess.
As you might of guessed, I'm not that impressed with this issue. The Santa Claus story alone might of gotten a three webs but it's the little things I mentioned that brought it down a web. Come on Mr. David, you can do better! Two Webs.