The guy who is selling the bootlegs is very reasonable. The price on my auction bid up to around US$30. When the auction closed, the seller told me that I had paid to much, and that he was only asking US$20. The CD arrived in perfect condition, very promptly.

I inspected mine very closely, trying to determine if it was authentic or not. The CD has a picture on it, and the printing on the case is done on a very nice colour printer. I eventually decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Clearly it was below regular commercial quality, but I assumed that perhaps it was a limited run done by a smaller department in the BBC.

A friend of mine also bought a copy, but he was more suspicious. He emailed the seller, saying that he believed that the copy was not a commercial CD. The seller confirmed that it was a bootleg, and pointed out that he never claimed that it was commercial. He offered a full refund for return, however they eventually agreed on a partial refund, and my friend could keep the CD.

What you are looking for is the Loves-Like-Life (tm) model #203-R-3. They might not have it, but they can probably order it in. It's a current model, and it's in the L-L-L catalogue for Summer 2000/2001. It'll set you back around US$175. Note that the #203-R is the redhead model, of course. You can get the blonde, and dye it, although it probably won't work out as well. The brown or the black version won't do at all.

Anyhow, the Redhead version makes a pretty convincing substitute, the facial likeness is uncanny. Pump it up to a classic 38-25-34 and it looks just like the Todd McFarlane version. For a Ron Frenz look, adjust the air to 35-22-32. Yeah, I know it looks a bit weird, but that's Frenz for ya. To get the wavey hair like McFarlane, just get a wet comb and a little bit of medium hold hair mousse.

As for clothes, the #203, comes with a couple of basic outfits, but obviously you'll want to get a leather miniskirt, and a few other accessories - the headband, the leotard outfit, etc., etc, plus the classic pink neglige.

Now, finally, notice that I've suggested the R-3 model. That has three orifices. The R-2 model is $20 cheaper, but believe me, the extra feature is worth the money. There's an R-5, but it's a lot more expensive. Don't ask me about the R-6, and if you buy one, don't tell me... you sicko!

Then, sure, stick it to the window, sofa, table, wherever you... oh, hey, sorry... did you say "Spider-Man blow-up?" Huh? You meant Mary-Jane, didn't you? Surely! No? SPIDER-MAN! Oh, get OUT of here, you PERVERT! This isn't that sort of page!

1. You really love Spider-Man, and think the comic is really great.
2. You're a keen collector, and owning every issue makes you happy.
3. You're a poor sucker, who's been taken in by the phoney manufactured hype caused by the movie, and by Marvel desparately trying to artificially inflate the second hand Marvel market after a huge 80's and 90's glut, by a double-edged practice of releasing wave after wave of alternate re-numbered lithograph painted signed covers, and of deliberately under-printing popular issues so that many of their loyal fans have to miss out, or pay scalpers' prices on eBay or elsewhere.

As for what it, or any other comic will be worth - it's not for me to try and guess. It sounds a little bit like Dot.Com stock 12 months ago. How long it will last is anybody's guess. Hah! it's the Dot.Comic bubble!

If you like the comic, keep it. If you want the money, sell it.

P.S. If you're curious, I'm #2.

That's the way it goes, I guess.

As you'll see by reading some of the recent reviews on this site, the Peter Parker stories are written by what is generally considered to be a better writer (Paul Jenkins), however the teams change occasionally. There has recently been a new editor, and a new editor in chief, and starting with Amazing #30 (in about two months) there will be a new writer on the Amazing title.

If you can manage the cost, you really should buy both of the main titles. There are also regular mini-series stories, which often overlap with events in the main books. However, you could probably skip some of those and still keep up with events. Your best bet is to flick through the mini-series while standing in your local friendly comic shop, and use your own judgment on what is good, and what's bad! Or if you're not completely sure, visit SpiderFan.Org, and read what we have to say about it!

By the way, for the Bride of Venom, your best option is to start with a L-L-L model #209-B-3, and apply two coats of black marine gloss. You'll need a number three brush and a half-litre pot of white for the detail...

Usually, we perform individual valuations for free, however the set of cards you list is spread among a number of decks. We would be delighted to consult the appropriate copy of Wizard on your behalf, with an estimated search time of 20 minutes, at our regular hourly rate of US$120/hr, plus $10 handling fee, this will incur a cost of no more than $50.

Or, for $6.95, or whatever, you could buy the next copy of Wizard mag which has a card price list, and peruse it to your heart's content. Your call! Note that not all issues of Wizard have the trading card price list in them. Check first.

OK, then you won't be interested in these holograms. Oh, hey, I have a lovely pair of matched brass rubbings taken from a Spider-Man headstone in a 14th century chapel just inland from Swansea?

Nope, none of that either, eh? Look, I do aim to please, but this is getting rediculous. Non-spatial pictures, not comic related. Alright, there are few gems in the back of my cupboard, which really aren't for public display, but since you asked in such an erudite fashion... I am prepared to scan for you this very limited, hand-signed late Silver-Age, mixed media work, created by Steve Ditko after a particularly brutal LSD session, in which he depicts a shockingly lifelike rendition of Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy in an erotically charged, but tastefully pleasing pose, using the only materials he had to hand at the time, having locked himself in the upstairs bedroom and swallowed the key, believing it to be a live gold-fish, and himself to be in an exclusive sushi bar in downtown Tokyo... this extra-ordinary artwork is created in smeared nose-pickings, with highlights in earwax, and is signed left-handed by the artist using toe-jam and the end of a belt-buckle.

What's that? You've changed your mind? Comic artwork isn't so bad?