Characters : Deadpool
Jeez, what can you say about Wade Wilson? He's handsome, charming, brilliant and the perfect killing machine. You can say all of the above about him, but only the last part would be true. He's really a disfigured psychopath with no sense of loyalty or restraint. He's also really, really funny.
He had a good old fashioned screwed up childhood. He cant remember if his mother died when he was five or if she beat him as a teenager. His father was either absent completely or killed in a bar fight when Wade was 17. He joined the army and became a mercenary, finding himself to be an exceptional killer. A Canadian, he eventually moved to the US and fell in love with Vanessa Carlysle. Soon after he was diagnosed with cancer and his left his love to prevent her the burden of dealing with a sick loved one. He also has a severe case of mental illness, which makes his behavior unpredictable and erratic. Wade often chats with the voices in his head, much to the confusion of the people around him.
He joined Canada's Department K and was treated with a mutant healing factor to cure the cancer. While the cancer is not gone, the healing factor does keep it in check. The tumors continued to grow, disfiguring his appearance without killing him. Still rebellious, he was killed for insubordination. The healing factor made him all better. From then on, he took odd jobs as a hired killer. He worked for the Kingpin and fought Wolverine among other adventures.
Its always a riot when "The Merc With a Mouth" meets the webbed quipster. He was hired by Sasha Kravinoff before the "Grim Hunt" to keep Spider-Man distracted while Ana Kravinoff kidnapped Mattie Franklin. The wisecracks flew fast and furious between them during the fight, ending in a "Yo Mama" joke contest. For example:
- Spider-Man: "Your mother is so ugly that a Skrull tried to copy her during the invasion and died...of ugly."
- Deadpool: "Your mother is so stupid she tried to get bailout money so she could afford to pay attention." (Amazing Spider-Man #611)
He even cracks wise like this while taking on Norman Osborn, whom had intercepted Wilson's communication to Nick Fury from the Skrull mother ship during the invasion. Osborn tried to have Wilson eliminated after the interception but one of the assassins spilled to Deadpool that Norman had hired them. As far as Wade was concerned, since Norman Osborn received the package that he delivered, then Norman Osborn owed him his money.
Deadpool broke into the Avengers Tower (which Osborn was head of after killing the Skrull Queen, using the information sent by Wade) and entertained himself with one of his hallucinations (climbing a bean stalk to face Osborn, who looked like a giant) as he climbed the elevator shaft of the tower. Wilson was eventually fought off by the Thunderbolts, Osborn's personal bodyguards. (Deadpool #8)
Sometime later, Deadpool teamed with Spider-Man to take down one of the most dangerous killers in the mercenary world: Hit-Monkey. Spidey and 'Pool had the usual "confuse the other hero of being the villain" fights before Wilson could tell him that the real killer was a simian. (Deadpool #19)
At another time, Deadpool, Spider-Man and Daredevil worked together to take down the mob and Tombstone. At another time, Deadpool was hired to invade Spider-Man's dreams to bring him back to reality, a la "Inception." They battled their way through Peter's dreamscape, which took the form of his high school days. After Spidey woke up, Deadpool confessed that he had been the one to control Spidey's mind. He used Spider-Man to fight his way through a prison to help Deadpool's boss escape. His boss? Hypno-Hustler. (Avenging Spider-Man #12) H.H. told Spidey that every video camera in the prison had caught him beating up guards to help him escape and now that his reputation was ruined, he had Deadpool try to kill him. Hustler was much more dangerous than the last time Spider-Man had met him as his cell mate, the Tinkerer, had upgraded his hypnotic tech.
When H.H. began to change the deal he made with Deadpool (who wanted to be hypnotized so that his heart would stop beating), Wade was Hypnotized to kill Spidey. After he was released from the hypnosis by a secret word (Ryan Reynolds), the heroes changed costumes to fool the Hypno-Hustler into thinking Spidey was dead. Deadpool planned on leaving afterward, until he was hypnotized into staying in prison by Spider-Man. (Avenging Spider-Man 13)
Wade soon met with Spider-Man again, even if it was the Superior Spider-Man. He was collecting souls for a demon that had granted people super powers and one of those people was Daniel Gump. Gump had sold his soul for precognition and became a businessman and criminal. When Deadpool arrived at Gump Tower, he was stopped by Spider-Man who was also there investigating Gump. Several hired guns were waiting for them, like Trapster, Taskmaster, Lady Stilt Man and Chance. Deadpool managed to...well, trap most of them with the Trapster's glue while Gump escaped with Lady Stilt Man. Wade took Spidey's webshooters (against Otto's wishes) and followed the duo, eventually killing the crooked businessman. Deadpool was soon captured and webbed up by Spider-Man but escaped with a tiny blowtorch that Spider-Man hadn't found. (Deadpool #10)
"Carnage vs Deadpool"
At a later time, Wade was watching the TV news when he saw a report on the escaped mass murderer called Carnage. He switched the channel, as he was eating and grossed out by the graphic report. Every channel he switched to made him think of Carnage, until he realized that he and Kasady were the same kind of crazy. If anyone could find Cletus Kasady, it was Deadpool. He followed completely random "clues" to a mini-mart and on the magazine stand he found a story about a abandoned housing subdivision in Oklahoma. It was near the spot of Carnage's last massacre, so he went to the abandoned ghost town. He blew up the house that Kasady was staying in but the symbiote protected Kasady from the explosion. In the following battle, Kasady's head was nearly blown off by a grenade and as Deadpool was about to finish him off, he was blasted by Shriek. (Deadpool vs Carnage #1)
As Carnage shoved his spiked tentacles through Deadpool, he demanded to know how the Merc had found them. It wasn't hard, Deadpool told him. He just followed the clues. Carnage believed he was too random and chaotic to leave patterns and was about to finish Deadpool for good when he was blasted by a dubstep that 'Pool had illegally downloaded. "Because you...you don't deserve sonic torture that has been paid for." Deadpool was again blasted by Shriek, who was more than happy to play doctor with the woman if that was what she wanted. Kasady again tried to kill him, but Wade threw some grenades at him....which didn't blow up. Carnage told him to buy American next time and Wade remembered that he had rigged the grenades to a remote detonator. The explosion didn't kill Carnage but did force him to flee with Shriek. This was after he tore out Wade's intestines.
Deadpool regenerated and headed to a storage facility to find spare weapons and costumes (which apparently he keeps all over the place in case of emergencies) but found that his items had been auctioned off when he missed his third payment. (He had been busy traveling through alternate dimensions killing evil versions of himself.) He eventually found the person that bought his costumes, a hugely obese man named Doverton. Doverton was also mentally ill and could see the same patterns that Deadpool and Carnage could. Deadpool had Doverton point him in Carnage's direction and found him on the freeway. Kasady and Shriek were escaping in a convertible when Deadpool drove a farm harvesting machine off of a flatbed truck and over the convertible. This caused Shriek to hit her head on the windshield and really tick off Kasady. Soon the maniac had smashed through the harvester and tossed Wade into traffic. (Deadpool vs Carnage #2)
Soon Deadpool and Carnage were stabbing away at each other and Wade tried telling Kasady that his dedication to chaos was misplaced. There was a pattern in the universe, even if Kasady didn't see it. Bored by Wade's speech, Carnage threw him into the path of a semi, which splattered him across the pavement. His healing factor saved him, allowing him to hear the panicked conversations of the onlookers. In their speeches, he picked out the words "The fight is not over. Find him. Stop him." He started looking for more signs and found that the trucker that hit him worked for Mercury Trucking. A school bus with a "Go Team Go" banner caught his attention and he knew that his clue was "Mercury Team."
He stole a motorcycle and followed more clues: clouds that looked like Carnage, roadkill, a little girl that spilled hot sauce on herself at a restaurant and some hillbillies gutting a deer. The clues led him to a ghost town, where he found the bloody car of a family that Carnage and Shriek had hijacked. Underneath the ghost town was a military group called Mercury Team, which were bonded to the symbiotes that had formerly made up Hybrid. Carnage had already killed Mercury Team and had set the self destruct on the facility to kill the rival symbiotes. Carnage then arrived and tore Deadpool apart, making sure that he couldn't regenerate. As the self destruct timer counted down, the Mercury Team dog arrived with the symbiotes, which bonded to Wade and helped him regenerate. (Deadpool vs Carnage #3)
Deadpool caught up with Carnage and Shriek at the Carrington Cottage Psychiatric Hospital. Deadpool sniped at Carnage through a window, blowing his head off. He sent the dog, which was bonded to a symbiote, to attack Carnage. Shriek tried to blast the dog, but the symbiotes image changing ability made her think that she had killed her lover. Shriek fled and the two madmen fought to a draw. Carnage fled, and Deadpool disguised Shriek as himself. Carnage tried to kill Deadpool, but was stunned to see that he had cut up his own partner. He put himself into a cell at the hospital and waiting for the police to arrive, somehow deciding that he was going to wait until he was his own man again. Deadpool left the symbiotes with the dog, telling them to go back to the government agents that knew how to take care of them. (Deadpool vs Carnage #4)
Deadpool joined the fight against the Red Skull after the former Nazi took control of Charles Xavier's brain and attacked the mutant nation of Genosha. Red Onslaught (who Red Skull became after gaining Xavier's vast psychic powers) fought back the combined attack of the Avengers and X-Men with the help of two adamantium Sentinels created by Tony Stark. Magneto soon arrived with a villain army consisting of Deadpool, Carnage, Hobgoblin, Absorbing Man, Enchantress, Mystique, Loki, Doctor Doom and Jack O'Lantern VI.
As the other killers dealt with Red Onslaught and the Sentinels, Deadpool was dragging away the badly hurt Iron Man. He hoped to get on Stark's good side so that he could become an Avenger, a wish which Tony was extremely reluctant to grant. Deadpool wasn't telling Stark where he was being dragged to, until he found that he had brought him to a downed power line to recharge him. Apparently, Deadpool was granted membership to the Avengers for helping Tony. (Axis #3)
"Deadpool vs The Punisher"
Wade had done a job in Mexico for a man named Simon Noonan Banks and was reviewing his mission with Banks when Frank Castle, the Punisher, arrived. Castle had come to kill Banks, whom he knew as a money launderer for criminal organizations around the world. The Punisher began his assault on Bank's mansion and Deadpool went to protect the Banks family. As the shootout began, Wilson judged Castle to be a "self righteous, sociopathic, shoot-first-ask-questions-never, humorless, fascist hardass." During the fight, Bank's wife and young son tried to escape via their boat, which blew up when the key was put in the ignition. Punisher escaped to his safehouse, which had been robbed. Deadpool was waiting for him, as he had tracked Castle's very rare and expensive bullets to a supplier that gave him Frank's address. Deadpool intended to kill Punisher for killing the boy and Frank denied planting the charges that destroyed the boat. Punisher managed to put a bullet in Deadpool's head before Wade could finish him off. (Deadpool vs The Punisher #1)
When Wilson woke up, he was in the Punisher's battle van, tied to the seat. Castle had taken them to a place on the U.S./Mexico border called Terminal, where everything from contraband to fugitives were smuggled. Punisher left Deadpool tied up in the van, telling him that it was too keep him safe if he fell asleep. Deadpool stayed away until Punisher was confronted by a Mexican criminal calling himself The Don of the Dead. Wade crashed a speedboat through the skylight and on top of the gang. Deadpool had insulted The Don by giving him a wedgie when they last met and they battled it out with swords, until Punisher gave The Don another wedgie. The duo finished off the gang and Deadpool met the Bank's wife and son, who had faked their deaths at the mansion. Mariana tried to explain to Deadpool that she had explained everything to him when he and Punisher had found them in Kentucky, an event that Wade had no memory of. He soon had Mariana and the boy escape in The Don of the Dead's helicopter, much to Punisher's annoyance. Deadpool started asking about when they suddenly teamed up, what happened in Kentucky and why Castle was carrying around a briefcase. Punisjer answered him by shooting him in the head again and putting a bullethole-less mask on him. (Deadpool vs The Punisher #2)